Someday I'll Be Home

Written by Anusikta Sarkar

Someday I'll have a home, the one I'll make for just me. Where I'll be safe, no slamming doors or loud fights it'll be my place of peace and quiet. It won't be quiet like a morgue but quiet like a home that doesn't have punch holes and taped up furniture. That doesn't hide a harsh truth and walls that haven't heard volatile things that burn like acid marks. When I say a home, I don't imagine mansions or even houses. I imagine maybe a small apartment where I get walk and skip a step while doing so. There I don't feel afraid to break a glass or leave the lights on for once. I don't need a mansion you see, I'd rather be safe and happy. In my home, I'll keep many plants, I'll water them and let them breathe maybe in a way I never did. I'd maybe have a pet, a stray dog I saved someday. I'd decorate every corner and leave my books on the table. I'd get a label maker and label my containers in the kitchen. I'd string up lights all over the place, it won't have darkness. It'll be my escape, this time not just a room but an entire place. Maybe I won't be happy there always but atleast I won't have to stuff my sobs as they escape nor moans when I find pleasure, ringing for once; reminding I'm safe. I won't give up till I make my home, I refuse to leave before. I can't settle never knowing what it's like to finally let go and sigh, in contentment for once. I'd have friends over and lovers too, I'd make them food and cater too. My home would know life and not just pain; scratched on the ceilings up high, hidden from plain sight. Someday I'll have a home, a home that's mine.